Posts Tagged ‘the great leader’

(yay! imported Chinese fans for a recent North Korea soccer friendly – and I kid you not!)

 
(our glorious football squad, presently pitying the world’s “other” soccer teams in Johannesburg)

Alright, so we lost our first Group G match yesterday, 2-1 against the mighty single-named Brazilians and their wonderful piece of Kaka. Hey, this is the group of death, kids, so can you even blame us for taking a few shots in the gauntlet?

Yet we showed considerable pluck throughout the 90 minutes. We battled like ancient Koryo warriors. We galloped up and down the pitch like the horsebacked drawers and water and hewers of wood, just like our holy ancestors did in Ancient Koryo, before we were defiled by foreigners. During the game we were duly inspired by the uplifting dreams of the delicious white rice and nutritious meat we might eat – if our Dear Leader considers us worthy enough of the privilege — back in our glorious socialist motherland at the foot of our Great Leader’s statue on Mansu Hill upon our return to the DPRK from this roiling capitalist cesspool, the inheritor to the imperialist apartheid state of South Africa.

(glorious Kim Il-sung pointing at incoming turds over on Mansu Hill)

Here’s what our brilliant, gifted, 100% Korean with-nothing-else-added coach, Kim Jong-hun said about the results of the Brazilian tussle:

The fact that [our] players scored a goal against a strong team like Brazil gives me a lot of pleasure. We didn’t win but we gained valuable experience. We’re going to be more confident, we want to win our remaining games and get through to the knockout stage. Throughout the match the players followed our gameplan and defended well. We were very well prepared and we got some good shots in on goal. I think we fought bravely and with a little bit of luck we could even have got a better result.

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I’m dating myself here, of course, but I can still remember watching this grainy commercial back in the day with a Cap’n Crunch-filled cereal bowl perched on my lap while sitting in front of the Boob Tube in crinkled morning PJs. If you’re part of this privileged minority, please let me know here.

And speaking of “privileged” minorities, I got to thinking about that tiny clique of Pyongyang (North Korea) Watchers out there and how we somehow all band together like a group of werewolves in 1987’s The Lost Boys (and girls, of course) in search of morsels of Kim Jong-il fare to sate our abiding, though inexplicably unbalanced, obsession with affairs in the Hermit Kingdom.

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