Posts Tagged ‘north korea’

(“On the spot guidance”: an enfeebled Bam Bam plays shuffleboard with his new residential model dinkytoy)

September promises to be a humdinger of a “historical” month over in DPR Korea according to recent a South Korean news report.

Bam Bam, aka Kim Jong-il, the country’s much-maligned headman and pictured above waving around his oversized plaything, will be convening an all-senior Korean Worker’s Party (KWP) Congress in the autumn. The last time this happened was in 1966. Something must be up.

You think?

The rarer-than-the-Holy-Grail fall confab, according to ROK experts, will be an attempt by said ailing North Korean leader pygmy fascist to shore up his hardline ideological support for the eventual leadership succession which all NK observers now claim is a foregone conclusion. Transfer of “hereditary power” to Kim’s Swiss-educated youngest son, Kim Jong-un (Eun), aka the “Youth Captain” is happening, and sooner than we think.

Jong-un, the heir apparent, is alleged to be a dead ringer for his daddy-o’s temperament and affect. The apple of Kim’s fatherly eye is currently being fast-track groomed to take up the cudgel in defense of the oft-maligned nuclear peninsular statelet as Kim steps down due to health reasons sometime during the end of this year (that is, if untimely death doesn’t relieve the planet of his rancorous presence sooner).

(Is this Kim Jong-un? Anyone?)

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(Jong Tae-se photoshopped onto a movie marquee. It says: “Protector of the Coal Miners, Jong Tae-se”)

Now that the 2010 World Cup odyssey is over for the North Koreans, Kim Jong-il (aka Bam Bam Malone) has been prematurely deprived of a convenient distraction with which to dodge the eight ball for March’s sinking of the corvette Cheonan. While the world – and, more importantly, the South Koreans – were distracted with events ongoing down in South Africa, he could at least enjoy something of a reprieve from a potential retaliatory strike on the part of Seoul. With the North Koreans booted convincingly, to he tune of 7-0, out of the tourney by the Portuguese, the possibility of a military move of some kind over on the Korean peninsula returns decidedly to center stage.

I covered a great short article in The Daily NK recently that told of heir apparent Kim “the Youth Captain” Jong-eun’s accompaniment of this father to a secure military installation last week as part of Kim’s “on the spot guidance” which the Dear Leader occasionally does. This was intended as a clear demonstration of the young Kim’s organizational capabilities and perhaps as a signal to Pyongyang watchers in the South and elsewhere that North Korea’s succession plans have been shunted to the fast track. The trip was conducted right under the nose of North Korea’s strong showing against the Brazilians in Jo’burg (June 15th), a match which supplied convenient cover for this latest bit of North Korean cloak and dagger intrigue.

Then there was this clever post over at China Hush that told of at least four NK players who made a break for the West following their team’s 2-1 congratulatory loss against the Brazilians. These four left ostensibly while the going was still good, not content to wait around for what might befall their teammates’ were the squad not as fortunate against the Portuguese in their upcoming match several days hence. They had apparently been correct in their reading the tea leaves, knowing their erratic Dear Leader only too well.

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After last night’s 7-0 shellacking at the hands of the powerful Portuguese in Cape Town, the North Korean soccer squad probably had much graver stuff on their minds than how they’re going to fare in their rubber match against the Ivoirians on Friday in Nelspruit.

When North Korean teams lose big, there are always consequences. Always. Things like getting chucked into a DPRK gulag – along with the rest of your family members – or having your exclusive privileges denied you, your name besmirched by the regime-controlled media, or perhaps even being killed in cold blood for having the audacity of losing on the world’s stage.

So there was indeed lot on the line during Monday night’s Group G match, and the pressure was likely colossal on the North Korean side to overperform. The shoddy results, alas, spoke for themselves. By the third Portuguese goal, which arrived just before the halftime break, it appeared as though the DPRK’s players were already thinking about their next moves far beyond South Africa’s shores.

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(yay! imported Chinese fans for a recent North Korea soccer friendly – and I kid you not!)

 
(our glorious football squad, presently pitying the world’s “other” soccer teams in Johannesburg)

Alright, so we lost our first Group G match yesterday, 2-1 against the mighty single-named Brazilians and their wonderful piece of Kaka. Hey, this is the group of death, kids, so can you even blame us for taking a few shots in the gauntlet?

Yet we showed considerable pluck throughout the 90 minutes. We battled like ancient Koryo warriors. We galloped up and down the pitch like the horsebacked drawers and water and hewers of wood, just like our holy ancestors did in Ancient Koryo, before we were defiled by foreigners. During the game we were duly inspired by the uplifting dreams of the delicious white rice and nutritious meat we might eat – if our Dear Leader considers us worthy enough of the privilege — back in our glorious socialist motherland at the foot of our Great Leader’s statue on Mansu Hill upon our return to the DPRK from this roiling capitalist cesspool, the inheritor to the imperialist apartheid state of South Africa.

(glorious Kim Il-sung pointing at incoming turds over on Mansu Hill)

Here’s what our brilliant, gifted, 100% Korean with-nothing-else-added coach, Kim Jong-hun said about the results of the Brazilian tussle:

The fact that [our] players scored a goal against a strong team like Brazil gives me a lot of pleasure. We didn’t win but we gained valuable experience. We’re going to be more confident, we want to win our remaining games and get through to the knockout stage. Throughout the match the players followed our gameplan and defended well. We were very well prepared and we got some good shots in on goal. I think we fought bravely and with a little bit of luck we could even have got a better result.

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(demonstrations in Seoul by Korean War vets against the Cheonan’s sinking – Bonzo the Bouncing Clown?)

I was catching up recently with some of my Korea research, staying abreast, as I always like to, on what’s been going over on the peninsula in the aftermath of the Cheonan’s sinking.

We could — as the mass media seems intent on reminding us practically every single minute of every single day (confounded by the IDF’s storming of the Gaza-bound flotilla!) — be going to war soon, so I thought it was important to get a sense of preparations on both sides of the 38th parallel.

News on the street is that there is no threat of war, but that does nothing to diminish the disturbing events taking place in some of the ROK’s big cities. Disturbing in Pyongyang too; but then again, we expect things to be disturbing at the Kim Farm in any event.

What I can’t seem to grasp well is the behavior of the Korean people; quite obviously the macabre stuff passing for civility in the North, but especially that of the South? I mean, it’s positively inscrutable. The recent patriotic displays and grandstanding, with Exhibit A above as evidence, would be outright horrendous if they weren’t so damn risible. I mean, is this really happening? For whose amusement is this being conducted? For the Western media’s? Gosh…

To supply you with a bit of color, pictured above is a Korean War vet clubbing a plastic Bonzo-the-Bouncing-Clown-like effigy of the late “Great Leader,” Kim Il-sung. I suppose this is a government-sanctioned means of taking out one’s frustrations with the late dictator’s legacy, not to mention the ominous specter of his present policy, following the loss of 46 ROK lives at sea in the disputed border area? Could this be its ultimate purpose?

(are these the remains of the torpedo which scuttled the Cheonan?)

There were Tae-kwon Do displays, replete with the usual slew of hopped-up young men soaring through thin air to crush blocks and wooden boards as they bellowed epithets and acrid curses at the Kim Family for their horrendous abuse of the DPRK’s hapless peasant citizenry, “our brothers,” by any other name. Again, it’s a violent display which is deeply disturbing in its potential devastation. Yet if it didn’t make me pee my pants from laughter as I catch it on reruns, I’d be very concerned for the state of affairs on the peninsula. I mean, can you imagine these people given free reign to do to each other whatever their hearts desire with zero “nanny state” like oversight from the US Army’s advisory services? No, no, no. An ugly sight indeed…

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(the Former US President & his Veep, Bill Clinton and Al Gore, respectively. Laura Ling and Euna Lee embrace their families and their saving graces)

I was disturbed by some recent highly-critical remarks (pictured below) appearing the other day on my Facebook Wall concerning the Laura Ling/Euna Lee “captive in North Korea” saga.

So much so, actually, that I thought it was time to compile my thoughts and feelings into a small introductory post along with a promised follow-up, as you’ll shortly read, once I have a chance to do more homework on the issue.

Here’s what’s been eating me over the past forty-eight hours…

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(Sven-Göran Eriksson)

I conducted a rather wide sweep of the Korean blogosphere yesterday afternoon and came across this snappy post about Sven-Göran Eriksson, the current Cote d’Ivoirean coach (and former English head man) reporting on his recent comments about North Korea’s prospects of victory at the upcoming football World Cup in South Africa.

Eriksson’s advised against “counting the North Korean squad out of the tournament,” as he proceeded to reel off a list several key reasons why he felt writing the DPRK off would be rather premature and illogical.

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Unidentified Blogging Location | Liking It, Nevertheless
13:30h CET
So what do those wily North Koreans have planned for us this week?

(weighing in at 130 pounds…standing 4’8” in the red corner…Bam Bam “Dear Leader” Kim!)

The good ol’ boys at new kid on the E-bang block china/divide chimed in this weekend about North Korea’s totally rude sinking of the Cheonan cutter, polling their readership on what China’s next move should be if the temperature along the always-tense 38th parallel rises any higher.

Some really incisive comments beneath Chucky Custer’s post, as per usual over there, though this time with little of that troll-like asskickery care of the Chinglosphere’s hoi polloi typically accompanying some of “the divide”’s more caustic all-about-China pieces.

Still, I was chuffed (did I just use that gay line?), because it gave me a chance to share my views about a country whose strategic intentions I’ve studied thoroughly and who (which?) I know a thing or three about.

But first, them poll results (29 votes, as of this date and time):

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Going old school | Writing chez moi | Isn’t that odd?
Approximately 18h
The Czechs clash with their former overlords today on the ice. A little too much mustard, a little too late, don’t you think? ;-P There will be drunks on Prague’s streets tonight…

Kang Chol-Hwan’s bestselling North Korean captivity memoir found itself on my required reading list for May. When it slid into my mailbox last week I – again – nearly plowed through its pages in record time. These “single sitting finishes” have been happening to me often lately, a good sign, alas. Means I’m picking them correctly. Means we’re getting close. Means…well, it means a whole lot of things!

So what is it about titles like The Aquariums of Pyongyang?

Why do I find myself drawn so magnetically to these sorts of emotive sagas recounting the tragedies of seemingly hopeless individuals who find themselves staring dead into the snake eyes of what Life has to offer, only to emerge on the other side wiser, more enlightened, and more worldly then ever before?

The story of author Kang’s life is horrific in the extreme.

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(pictured: Kim “Bam Bam” Jong-il quaffs a glass of delicious grape juice with Chinese President Hu “’Dat?!” Jintao)

So now it’s the pundits’ turn — yay! — to parse through the detritus of Bam Bam’s week-long “secret” trip to the PRC. Time to wheedle through the she-said/he-said to suss out the true “between the lines” message the North Korean strong weak man wished to hastily convey to his Chinese sugar daddies interlocutors over the past week, now that both he and his country farm, the DPRK, are on the verge of keeling over and plutzing.

Essentially, Kim ran the Middle Kingdom “milk run” with a trifecta of items on this short shopping list; must-haves, as far as Bam Bam was concerned, for the so-called “6-party” to continue and for them to harbor any hopes of Shawty! returning to their bargaining table in their bid to increase the regional peace.

(pictured: Shawty!)

So now, in order of priority, here’s what Kim did his level best to nail down during last week’s trip to China:

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